Th western ideal of the “Individual” has meant, in reality, that the state has replaced the “Family” as the close support of the individual.
The state supports new mothers and babies. The state provides childcare and is responsible for educating our children. The state takes care of us when things go wrong. The state is responsible for our health. The state looks after us when we are helpless and old. The state today increasingly provides us with employment and if that is not available with an income.
The result has been dependency. We never leave this home.
We never grow up.
And now, the state cannot afford this role and, as taxpayers, neither can we.
To free ourselves, don’t we have to begin to cut our ties and dependency to the state?
But where to go? We cannot survive on our own.
I think the only answer is to “Go Home” to the “Home” that has sustained human life for all time until our own.
True Family.
What might that be like? Westerners have many examples hidden in plain sight.
Of all the ethnic groups today, Indians, of all religions, stand out as a truly resilient and successful group. Why might that be? They make “Family” the core of their culture. When I say Family, I don’t mean the North American ideal of Mum and Dad and two kids. I mean the extended family. The Romans called this a “Familia”. Such a grouping is not confined to blood but extends to generational allies.
There are strong remnants of this idea in Italian families today: no Italian is separated from their family.
This definition does not demand that all live under the same roof, but it does that sometimes. The Familia is both a social and economic structure. It is another term for the oldest and most successful human organization, the Tribe
It won’t be easy to make this return, but what choice do we have?
Costs - Child and Elder Care
Child rearing and simultaneously looking after elderly parents create crushing pressure.
What Robin and I fear most is having to go into a “Home”.
Both are seen today as separate issues. But, in a multigenerational arrangement, these direct costs go away. The older members take care of the younger ones. The quality of life goes up for all.
The Granny is an evolutionary product of the challenges of raising human children. No other social animal ends fertility early.
How can we connect these needs better?
Costs - A Home
New home ownership is next to impossible for many young people. But their parents and grandparents were more fortunate and many have a home.
So, we have this strange imbalance where the young with children are forced to rent while their older generations are housed.
It’s not even that the children can wait their parents out. For elder care and health care can erode or destroy the capital locked up in the parental home.
Again, a problem to be solved.
The Barriers to Going Home to The Familia
We are so conditioned to individualism.
It’s so hard to break this pattern.
But what other choice do we have?